Saturday, October 11, 2014

Silence

Seldom will you come across someone who has not cried out to God in anguish and heard nothing but crickets in return. I am no exception. I went through the agony of major depression and God proved Himself to me in a powerful way. I clung to Him and He pulled me through. When the people in my life I loved the most and held dearest turned their backs on me and threw me out of their lives, God covered me in His comfort and surrounded me in His love. When I was diagnosed with cancer and underwent chemo, my world was shattered and He proved to be my Rock. But when one final straw broke the back of my faith and in anger, hurt and rage, I DEMANDED that God PROVE Himself, I heard nothing but silence. For months, going on nearly a year now, I screamed and begged and pleaded at Him to prove Himself, to show me that He was real, because after all, if He was truly real, He wouldn't be so quiet! He would make Himself known, right? Right? What I hadn't realized was that He had already made Himself known, repeatedly, and because I was angry, I was refusing to see it. And the irony of it all? What I was angry about was done in His name, not by Him in the first place.
If God has proven Himself to us dozens of times in the past, why do we demand that He prove Himself again, as if this time is the "magical" time? This time, we will really believe! This time, we will really follow! Really? Maybe this time we need to really trust.
I was struck by a verse I've read probably a hundred times and never noticed before. Luke 1: 13 says: "But the angel said, 'Don't be afraid, Zechariah! God has heard your prayer.'" The angel said this to Zechariah in his old age, I'm assuming well past Elizabeth's childbearing years. How many years do you think He and Elizabeth had prayed and prayed and cried out to God only to hear crickets in return. Yet, God was listening, but He was answering in His timing, not theirs, to accomplish His master plan.
So if you're crying out to God today and He's strangely silent in return, remember His faithfulness in the past and remember that He is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8). If you could count on Him then, you can count on Him now, no matter how you feel or what you here. Trust Him. He won't let you down.

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